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Are we being toxic to ourselves?

The world we live in today is the most chaotic it has ever been. Too many things happening at the same time and everyone has become part of this never-ending race to become “successful”, trying to find happiness. It is true that it has become a lot easier for people to pursue a career path of their own choice but it's not as easy. Everyone is trying to grab opportunities, running behind their dreams with ferocity. Every motivational video talks about pushing yourself by getting out of your comfort zone and powering through obstacles with all your will. Every inspirational quote teaches us to never give up and to learn from every failure and to keep believing in your dreams and ambitions.


They say you got to learn from your mistakes and keep going…


I completely agree that it’s amazing how people are now free to choose their own paths and it's a genuinely wonderful feeling when you are finally able to achieve your goals. People who are dedicated, disciplined, and fiercely motivated with the willpower of a Green lantern, are an inspiration to all of us. But we must also remember that too much of anything can become really toxic and harmful. Even something like self-motivation and dedication can end up hurting you instead of helping you.


The usual method of meditation was to starve yourself and push yourself to the physical limit, but Siddharth choose otherwise…


For example, talking about dedication, Gautum Buddha can be considered one of the most dedicated people ever, especially when he was on his journey to search for the meaning of life. During his travels, when he was known as Siddharth, he tried many different methods of meditation and even gained a few friends and followers to accompany him. The common belief among people in those times was that if you want to meditate, you need to push your body to the very extreme by starving yourself and concentrating on getting into a deep meditative state. Siddharth tried this technique for years and years and eventually realised that this was not the right way. His followers and friends at the time turned their back against him for not following the conventional method and left him on his own. Siddharth decided to try his own way, where he didn’t push himself as hard physically but meditated whenever he could at his own pace. After meditating for a comparatively shorter period of time of 49 days, under the bodhi tree, Siddharth achieved enlightenment and became the Gautum Buddha who through his teachings paved the path to the religion of Buddhism.


It’s okay to take a break every once in a while. Even people who are dedicated bodybuilders need to rest to let their muscles repair. The people who are too obsessed with gaining the ideal body, forget to take breaks and end up harming themselves, not just physically but also mentally and the injuries can take away months of progress, just like that.


Too much pain, will in reality reduce your gains.


A break is important not just from running behind your goals but also in other aspects of life.

For example, caring too much to the point of wanting to control every aspect of your life, holding on to someone who’s not going to come back, and holding on to your feelings and emotions from the people who care about you. These can cause more harm than good. A person may start to feel like a bird trying to fly with metal chains hanging from its legs. Even more, harm comes to those, who still somehow manage to deal with their situation with the chains still attached to them. They may feel like they are strong in the moment, but ignoring your needs and hurtful situations to the point that you are desensitised to the situation altogether, is not the right way to deal with it.


If you hide all of your problems, even from your loved ones, no one would be even aware of your struggles and hence no one will come to your aid. It will make you feel even more alone and unaccepted, and that would be your own fault. If you put up a bravado of being a strong and independent person and put up an act of being happy, the world wouldn’t know if you are in need of help and will only see you as someone who can take care of yourself and leave you be. To want someone’s attention, you need to reach out to them and let them know about your needs.


You could be more than capable of taking care of yourself but it’s not always the only way. You can ask for help, you can ask for a hug from a friend, you can ask for a little love because It's okay to want to be loved.



It is okay to take a break and ask for some love


We can always keep trying to be better and do more and reach new limits, but it is also important to take a break every once in a while. Not every mistake is a lesson. Sometimes you just fail and it’s completely okay.


You don’t always have to learn something from your pain and suffering. If you're able to do that, that's amazing. But give yourself the credit when you do that, and don't credit the situation. Instead of saying 'I became stronger because of this trauma', you could say 'I choose to come out of my trauma stronger'. Because that's what you did That event didn't 'teach' you to do that.


To lay some bartender wisdom on you…

“You are not where you want to be, you feel like you are supposed to be somewhere else.

Say you could snap your fingers and be wherever you wanted to be, I bet you would still feel this way, Not in the right place. The point is, you cant get so hung up on where you’d rather be, that you forget to make the most of where you are. Take a break from worrying about what you can't control. Live a little” - Robot bartender from the movie ‘Passengers’.



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